1. Watch your anger! If expressing your anger is your main goal, then your interaction with someone else will probably not be very effective. 2. Try not to form assumptions about another person. Be open-minded.
3. Discuss the problem with the person one-on-one, not in a large group. You will both be calmer.
4. Start the conversation by telling the person that you care about him or her. This will help the person listen better to you.
5. Use “I” statements, not “you” statements. This will help to give you power to recognize your own role in the situation.
6. Remember your rights. You do not have the right to control someone else. However, you do have the right to explain how you are affected by someone else’s actions.
7. Be patient with others! Try to understand their points of view.
8. Always try to be willing to talk about something that bothers you, using the healthy and positive methods listed above.
9. Remember to be a good listener.
10. Sometimes conflict or stress between two people is hard to avoid. But remember that facing your fears and facing the conflict in a positive way can lead to understanding and growth of a friendship!
Source: Adapted from the “Hate Comes Home” discussion guide, Anti-Defamation League, 2002.